"I don't like how other people perceive me"-Too often that is heard from a lot of people. It is quite an overwhelming challenge to suit other people's sieving threshold of what is 'acceptable' or what is to be categorized as the perfect traits. But to be seen to be self-worth and deserving of every respect as a person, the ultimate onus falls on you as an individual to find your value and appraise our self- worth.
In my attempt to tackle this topic I will give the following 4 points to try and avoid if you are to build your self-worth and be the driver of you self-value- give no chance to other people and /or situations to appraise your worth and determine your shelf value!
1. Distinguish Reality from fantasy- it is one thing to dream, and to have realistic dreams. Fantasy and reality have always been distant cousins, therefore see them as such. Embracing fantasy has a dent on your view to been self as self-worth. It is of no use to to self-value yourself with unrealistic means as a yardstick of whether you match up to other people within your community.
2. Living another person's life- We live in times of social networks and a much open global village thanks to the power of the internet. An incredible invention and a great tool to catch up with family, colleagues and peers we would have not meet or talked to in ages. But on top of it you see too often people who are living a life that isn't theirs- in short wrapped in fantasy. Why is this the case? Many people have chosen to live another person's borrowed life, this is true not only in the social media realm but even in the day-to-day ordinary life. The self-validation you will get is that which is not only artificial but it results in unnecessary stress to always put up the perfect act to be seen to be self-worth or convince yourself you are worth your imaginary life. Self-value comes from being true to yourself in every aspect of your life. Life is too such being a slave of another person's script; write your own script and be the director of its course.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others- just like living another person's life avoid comparing yourself to what others have or are in order to convince yourself of your self-worth. Ironically, despite our differences in education, social or economic standing, one thing remains is that we are all gifted and talented in our different and unique ways. Just because you are not as intellectually astute as the next person to you that doesn't mean you cannot not see yourself as self-worth of pursuing your life aspirations.Basing your reasons of not pursuing something as a result of what others have against you is not only suicidal to your conscience but detrimental to your progress. Instead of comparing yourself to others, as a first step you can start challenging yourself against the best.
4. Avoid hearsay from other people- Never allow hearsay as a basis to self- value your abilities. You can never grow as a person if everybody's opinion became an input in building your self-worth. Just what others perceive you are their opinions/ view and not yours, let it to themselves as such.
There is always a dark side to finding self-value if you try to let external factor to primarily become the building blocks to self-worth. Inner freedom must be embraced more than the external factors.
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